Sunday, September 20, 2009

Fan Fic.. Sunday?

Ok so this was supposed to happen Friday. You know, all alliterative and cutsey FAN FIC FRIDAY! So instead, I got swept up in Football Friday, and decided I would post it yesterday, on Saturday. Nope. Didn't happen either. So it's Sunday. Forgive me. Its not alliterative, but at least I'm posting it!

So I was very anti fanfiction. In my mind, it wasn't canon, and if it's not canonized, then its pointless. Meyer-inspired was not the same as Meyerized, IE anything written only by SM herself. If it wasn't written by Stephenie, then it wasn't "THE" Cullens. Until I ran across Twilight in 15 Mins and laughed my arse off for about 15 mins, and then kept laughing for weeks after that. Cleolinda is a genius. I think I quote these two sections the most

Forks High, Parking Lot

[Edward is totally not stalking Bella from across the icy parking lot, no, why do you ask WHEN SUDDENLY HERE COMES TYLER'S DEATH VAN OMG and it is careening at Bella crushwards and suddenly Edward is THERE and he throws her down (unf) and he stops the speeding van with his BARE HAND and then he DAZZLES HER.]


The Beach, La Push Reservation


[Angela, who is my favorite character after Alice (who is awesome), and Bella are huddled together for warmth while all the other kids go, like, ice-surfing or something.]

ANGELA: I really want to go to the prom with Eric--

BELLA: Not Ben?

ANGELA: Ben? No one named Ben goes to this school. Anyway, ERIC. I want to go with him but he will never ask me, woe.

BELLA: You should ask him yourself! You are a strong, independent woman. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about.
[I'm sorry, what? Did Bella Swan just call herself independent and bond with one of the mundanes? Wonders will never cease.]

[And then Jacob shows up with his as-yet-unfursploded posse, who are all like, did you bring any Cullens? BECAUSE THEY CAN'T COME HERE.]


Edward's Room

BELLA: You don't have a bed?

EDWARD: NO, YOU BRAZEN HUSSY.

TWILIGHT FANS: ZOMG HIS COUCH IS NOT BLACK AND BELLA IS NOT WEARING A BLUE V-NECK AND--
HARRY POTTER FANS: *FLAMETHROWER*

[Oh, look! Edward has Muse Linkin Park Debussy in his CD player! Bella loves Debussy! Let's dance!]

BELLA: Um, I'm not so much with the coordination and the--

EDWARD: I SAID, LET'S DANCE.

[And then Mr. Flying Squirrel jumps out the window and takes her barfing across the scenic Pacific Northwest. Or maybe that was just me and my fear of heights.]


Read the rest here. You really won't regret it and it will force you to rewatch the movie again which is never a bad thing right? Twilight in 15 Mins

My husband has threatened to hide all 3 copies of Twilight if I dont stop yelling "TYLERS DEATH VAN!!" or "HeydoyouhaveanyCullens,CAUSETHEYCAN'TCOMEHERE". TheWolfMan also doesn't take kindly to me telling him that he has not yet fursploded, and he has to stop calling himself a werewolf, or I taunt him when he is angry and ask him if he's going to fursplode soon. You know you are both addicts when Twilight enters the conversation even when fighting.

So I digressed. If not for Twilight in 15 mins, I'd never have have read Growing Up Cullen. I also quote this heavily, especially when talking to Shannon. I'm going to tell my MIL to stop reading here, because language enters the picture. While it's not Meyerized, it's fully Meyerspired and hilarious (To me). If you hate language, then it's considered very graphic and you'll hate it, so don't click under any circumstances.

http://oxymoronassoc.livejournal.com/462027.html

I'll post what I can- and you'll have to click and read to see why Edward knits, does scrapbooking, goes shopping and Emmett listens to rap music. Edward is also the 100 year old emo kid with a cleaning obsession and then meets the girl he wants to eat/marry. I LOVE sulkyward. I also can't knit, scrapbook, or pass a pottery store without thinking of Edward, so I have to thank these ladies for intensifying my Twilight associations in my brain with almost ANYTHING, even more than before.

WHERE ARE MAH STICKERS!!!!!

i bet jasper and emmett like pull all the TP off the roll and leave the cardboard just to annoy edward

[info]oxymoronassoc: and then emmett would start screaming at the tv
[info]oxymoronassoc: and it would all dissolve
[info]oxymoronassoc: and edward would remain in impotent rage in the kitchen
[info]saint_renegade: Esme would just like hug him and be all 'i'll talk to him, sweetie, you know he doesn't mean it'
[info]oxymoronassoc: and edward would mutter something like THAT DOESN'T MEAN IT ISN'T HURTFUL.
[info]saint_renegade: NO MOM, HE DOES IT ALL THE TIME, AND HE KNOWS IT'S DISRESPECTFUL, HE KNOWS
[info]oxymoronassoc: and esme would be like WHY DON'T YOU GO TRY OUT THAT NEW POTTERY WHEEL I BOUGHT?
[info]saint_renegade: and that's how they have like 80 bowls they'll never use
[info]oxymoronassoc: all lumpy and badly glazed
[info]saint_renegade: I'M PERFECTING MY ART!!!!!
[info]saint_renegade: WHAT ARE YOU DOING BESIDES BEING FILTHY?
[info]oxymoronassoc: emmett will use them one day when he and jasper are pretending aliens are invading in the backyard and karate chop them to bits
[info]oxymoronassoc: and edward will flip his shit
[info]oxymoronassoc: NO RESPECT
[info]oxymoronassoc: NO RESPECT!!!!
[info]oxymoronassoc: THAT WAS ART!
[info]oxymoronassoc: ART!!!
[info]saint_renegade: oh that would be the shitfit for the ages
[info]saint_renegade: EMERGENCY HOUSE MEETING!!!!!
[info]saint_renegade: Edward would just walk outside and see it and start screaming for a meeting

Read the rest of the HILARIOUS convo here


So after I read these two, and I'd read Twilight for about the billionth time, I found myself wanting more. I wanted more of the Twilight world, even if it was a parody, no matter where I could find it. I am a member of Twilightmoms and I ran across Blondie's fic about Edward's Point of View during New Moon, called Dark Side of the Moon or DSOTM for short. I noticed many people talking about it, how loyal it was to the real story, and how much it felt like you were reading a real Stephenie Meyer canonized book. So I was curious, and I clicked. And I was SUCKED in. It also really really hit me exactly how Jasper experiences emotions and exactly why he attacks Bella (or attempts anyways). When we finally got to meet and hangout with Jackson at Twicon, well TheWolfMan did, he was sitting around with Jackson and brought up DSOTM on one of those days just to see if he heard of it. Long story short, he described what Jasper feels as he has to feel his own experiences as well as the intensity of everyone else around him and lightbulbs seemed to go off when Jackson was listening. TheWolfMan said he was very interested in it after that and he referred it to him to read. Who knows if it will matter, but we'd like to think it changed the way he'll play Jasper and maybe even the way they'll view his role in Eclipse/Breaking Dawn.

I'll post the preface because there is truly no other place I can pick to quote, so I might as well just post the beginning.

We made no sound as we walked across the cobblestones in the moonlight. The two vampires on either side of me were filled with questions, but neither spoke.

How does he stomach animal blood? Why bother?

I hope he puts up a fight...an easy kill would be boring. He doesn't look like much, maybe he's fast?

Neither one knew what my fate would be. The Volturi had made their decision alone, wanting to surprise me with their verdict. Apparently their power came with a healthy dose of pride and arrogance.

"He should be here momentarily." Aro's voice echoed in Caius's ears. I assume that you are in range by now, my young friend.

I scanned the other minds present, looking for clues as to my future, but Caius was guarding his thoughts as well. The white haired ancient was looking at Jane. We should let her have some fun with this one, he thought, and he remembered how the last vampire she'd tortured writhed and screamed.

I should have been afraid, knowing that I was facing the sadistic young girl, but if it led to my demise, I didn't really care. I deserved nothing less. Bella was dead because of me. Physical pain would just disappear into the void created by her loss.

Only the end result mattered to me - that I became a smoking pile of ash.

Felix opened the golden door before me, and I calmly stepped forward to meet my fate.

DSOTM

So this was where I began and I figured, what better place to start? I have a very good friend who is writing a very very good fanfiction (a little more rated M for those needing what Breaking Dawn leaves out). I want to get her permission and I'll feature her in her own blog post (or have her write about it herself!)

A good place to look for fanfiction about Twilight is Twilighted

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