Whoooooottt!! Been waiting on this one for awhile (ok only 2 weeks). If you haven't read Twilight in 15 mins, you must stop reading NOW, and go read it. It seriously shaped my viewing of the movie, and I can't ever make it to the end without some strong guffaws. Seriously loud, turn the TV on mute type laughs as I read to TheWolfMan... oh Tylers Van of Death gets me every time. To pass the time for the rest of you who have read it, I'll recap some of Cleolinda's funnier moments, including bringing us the word "fursplosion", The "Hot Topic MAUL Tour", playing the fun game "Horrifying the Twilight Noob", and best of all... the linking of Growing Up Cullen. You must read this as well. I"m not kidding when I say, of all the fanfics and commentaries, these two are the ones I quote the absoloute most. Growing Up Cullen makes me laugh so hard I pee myself. It has tons of language. TONS of it. Get over it.
So Cleolinda FINALLY posted New Moon in 15 Mins. Thank Edward. And Jacob. And hot James that died sadly. So without further ado, here it is. READ IT
Maybe it's just the mood I'm in but I don't think this is as good as Twilight in 15. It has some great lines but overall I feel like it's kind of long? Maybe re-reading it in a different mood will make me like it more.
ReplyDeleteStill, here were some highlights for me that I think we'll work into our regular twicabulary.-
"death by sparkle at high noon"
"A bit louder, Mr. Cullen! Some of them will want to use it as a ringtone."
"I AM A GROWN MAN, NOT A POWDERED DONUT, AND THESE CONTACTS HURT, OKAY?"
"I'm also using you to fill the gut-wrenching, Edward-shaped emptiness in my soul."
JACOB: The story about the--STOP PETTING MY ABS.
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QUIL: Nah, they're gonna be here a while. Generally I like to leave before the winner starts humping.
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ALICE: Edward's going to kill himself! In a thematically appropriate way!
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
BELLA: IN THE MANNER THAT WAS FORESHADOWED?!
ALICE: Omg, are you psychic too?!
BELLA: WE MUST SAVE HIM
ALICE: VAMPIRE VOLVO, AWAY!
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[Edward looks down in the middle of his suicidal unshirtfulness and notices that he is suddenly wearing a teenage girl.]
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Jane, crucio them with your eyeliner.
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and last but not least, my favorite of the whole thing:
"So... you came down with a fever of a hundred and werewolf and... now you're allergic to shirts."
Like I said, I don't know if it was just my current mood while reading it, but when I read Twilight in 15 I was like peeing in my pants laughing, whereas most of these just got like a smile out of me. The last one had me actually laughing, but not as hard as I did during Twilight in 15.
I need to read it again to see if there are any others that majorly stand out, but it wasn't as funny as Twi in 15 mins for SURE. It was cute, but not hilariously make me pee myself funny which is sad, given her streak of consistent delivery of humor
ReplyDeleteI think the ringtone was my fave
Lauren, its Lauren from JM(LaLaRose). I have to say I love love LOVE your blog! I have it bookmarked and on my toolbar, and visit everyday! Please keep up the awesome posts! You rock!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I am living Cleolinda's stuff! :D
Hey girl! Cleolinda, Stephenie Meyer and Edward make the world go round
ReplyDelete